Living a lie was the only way to survive
Stringing you along seemed best to stay alive
You were the exceptional picture I had imagined
The perfect man that had emerged
Husband material with care as big as the ocean
Made sure I had the most expensive lotion
Gifts and vacations were your specialty
Everything perfected with no doubt in your loyalty
Though the connection was never there
The deceit stops right here
My imagination was too persuasive
Description of it all was too abrasive
I know I can make it
I know its possible
I know I am capable
But
It’s the fear, the failure, the hurt, the disappointment that holds me back
Keeps me trapped
All wrapped on the field
Restricting me from running that last lap
Hopeless, speechless, shameless, shapeless, defenseless
Is how everything is bound to turn out
Though
I long for it
I crave it
I dream it
Truth is I need it
Success
I need access to you
I am under duress
Feeling distress
In a beautiful gloomy blue dress
Though here I stand dispersing on that same nature-lover
Looking through that sharp clear glass revealing my reflection
Is that what they call perfection?
God did stand out in his elections
Always striving for the perfect selection
And once done there was never a retraction
Just him waiting upon my approval or rejection
One that will not inject him into depression
And in this section rejection was never an option
I chose to be that selected reflection
I chose perfection
So i take a stand and look at my life
and see how everything seems to be right
where darkness was seems to be light
though my schedule of deciding on what to do seems to be tight
And all i keep doing is write on this blank page so white
The joy of witnessing my pen and paper fight over words to write seems flagrant
Oh! Life so simple but funny how man-kind make it seem complicated
It is not always about being captivated by the essence of life But about being controversial
So be your authentic self
And let simplicity be!
So much to say, so much to share
Ideas in mind but choosing one is a hustle
Pen and paper in hand though
Forming those sentences is like the construction of a castle
Litter scattered on the playground
Sorting it out is a battle
Perfect description of my mind
As the words rattle
The introspection of my brain
Will eventually be embattled
